Empowering Reads for Domestic Violence Awareness Month
The Survivor Anthology Project creates collections of work that include the diversity, creativity, and resilience of survivors’ experiences. In honor of Domestic Violence Awareness Month, and the launch of our second issue of Survival & Beyond, we are spotlighting some empowering books that deserve a place on your October reading list! Some of these books are directly related to experiences of domestic violence, while others provide valuable insight into journeys of self-love, self-acceptance, and empowerment.
From memoirs like Being Lolita by Alisson Wood, which touches on the reclamation of power after grooming and abuse; to self-empowerment books like The Body is Not an Apology: The Power of Radical Self Love by Sonya Renee Taylor, which provides perspectives on viewing self-love as a tool to building stronger connections with ourselves and our communities. We hope that this list of recommendations will hold your hand as you take a literary journey through insightful words that have the potential to heal and encourage you to stand in your strength.
For our Anthology Team, these books have been helpful along our various journeys, and we hope that they can be supportive for you, too. We plan to share book recommendations as a seasonal series, with new books highlighted each time. So, if you enjoy any or all of these books, please be on the lookout for more suggestions in the coming months!
And, of course, we highly recommend taking this opportunity to read issues 1 and 2 of Survival & Beyond.
Being Lolita
By Alisson Wood
- Nonfiction – Memoir
- Hannah’s recommendation
I found the book, Being Lolita by Alisson Wood, after watching the Hulu documentary Keep This Between Us. The docu-series follows film director and survivor, Cheryl Nichols, as she re-examines her abusive past relationship with her high school teacher. She also uses her platform to discuss the widespread issue of grooming in U.S. high schools.
Wood was featured in the series, as her memoir tells an all too similar story to Nichols’s. In Being Lolita, we meet 17-year-old Wood and her teacher-turned-groomer and abuser, then 26-year-old Mr. North. Wood is lonely and vulnerable and Mr. North expertly fills a gap in her life and manipulates her affection and intellect.
The memoir is direct, opening up chapters with lines like “It started on purpose.” or “I wasn’t a virgin. He knew that.” I relish the sharpness of her sentences and insights. There is a deep vulnerability and honesty in the writing that makes Wood very relatable and outlines the steady escalation of abuse. The chapters are short, just a few pages long, making it a fast page-turner even though the topic is heavy. Overall, this a coming-of-age memoir, a story of escaping abuse, and a reclamation of Wood’s power, and her narrative.
Invisible Chains: Overcoming Coercive Control
By Lisa Aronson Fontes, PhD
- Nonfiction – Psychology, Psychiatry, Social Work, Education
- D’ahnee’s recommendation
Invisible Chains: Overcoming Coercive Control by Lisa Aronson Fontes, PhD, is an essential read. Dr. Fontes, an expert psychologist, author, and activist dives into a subtle, but powerful form of abuse: coercive control. This innovative book not only examines coercive control but serves as a guide for those seeking to understand and overcome such situations, as well as guide those seeking to help someone else understand and overcome such situations. Dr. Fontes explores how abusers wield control through a diverse lens in a way that the masses can understand and relate to.
What sets this book apart is Dr. Fontes’s insights on “the why” behind some perpetrators controlling behaviors. Invisible Chains: Overcoming Coercive Control is an amazing resource that spotlights coercive control and sheds light on a variety of relationship dynamics.
Dr. Fontes’s insights are further provided in Survival & Beyond: A Survivor Anthology, issue 2, where she contributes her expertise and creativity to our body of work.
The Body is Not an Apology: The Power of Radical Self Love
By Sonya Renee Taylor
- Nonfiction – Self-care, Self-love, Empowerment
- Alec’s recommendation
This book will have you take a long, hard look at how you view yourself—but it will hold your hand while you do it. Many people are familiar with the concept of self-acceptance, and the more commercialized concept of self-care. But fairly early on in this book, poet and activist Sonya Renee Taylor very firmly tells us that self-acceptance is not nearly enough. If you’re like me, reading that sentence got your hackles up, but stay with me! Self-acceptance is an obvious step up from self-hatred, but is that the best and only goal we can have for ourselves?
Self-love asks us to dig deeper than self-acceptance. It challenges us to work harder to uncover the sources of our pain (including those coming from external sources of oppression) so we can stop directing hate toward ourselves. Only by unlearning the harsh self-views we’ve inherited from our society can we work towards being truly free.
This small but mighty book raises up self-love at the intersections of multiple oppressions and -isms. “Radical self-love summons us to be our most expansive selves,” Taylor writes, “knowing that the more unflinchingly powerful we allow ourselves to be, the more unflinchingly powerful others feel capable of being.” The Body Is Not an Apology is not only a call for self-love, but an invitation to see our self-love as beneficial to building stronger, more compassionate, and more equitable communities.
Conquering Fear, Living Boldly in an Uncertain World
By Harold S. Kushner
- Nonfiction – Personal Growth, Emotions, Self-management, Stress-management
- Peggy’s recommendation
This is not a book on domestic violence but rather a book on fear. It is a book I read on my journey to wholeness and trying to understand and find myself. Kushner is an easy read. I have read a number of his books. I have always found them thought-provoking, but also soothing and comforting. Kushner draws on both religious and secular literature. His books do have a spiritual tone but also a very down-to-earth tone.
He starts this book by reflecting on what has made him scared or fearful in his life and how he moves on. He reminds you that when you hear a person say “I’m not afraid of ___,” they are really saying, “I am afraid of ___, but I have learned to not let my fear get in the way of living my life.” The book reminds you that you are not alone. There are always people to support you on your journey, and yes! You are strong enough, you do have what it takes!
The Survivor Anthology Project is an initiative of Safe Passage that publishes collections of writing and artwork by survivors of relationship abuse and domestic violence. Our team consists of volunteers and staff from Safe Passage, and the opinions expressed in this blog post are our own, not necessarily that of the organization.
You can learn more about the Survivor Anthology Project and read previous issues here!
If you are or know someone who is looking for support around relationship abuse, please call our helpline (M-F, 9am-5pm) at (413) 586-5066, toll-free at (888) 345-5282, or call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at (800) 799-7233.