Friend Request

It all started with a friend request

Facebook said he knew a friend of mine

Though I didn’t know, I still accepted

19 is so young

I wish I declined the request

Two days resulted in two months of terror

I was only 19

 

Never should have responded to the DM

That’s where it all started

He was a scrub that I never wanted

Never truly loved at all

He was always in the passenger side

Said he was my best friend

I wasn’t allowed to have any friends, especially male friends

My time had to revolve around him

His woman-hating ways stemmed from his mama drama and trauma

His last girl did him wrong and I felt the wrath of it

 

Two months felt never-ending

Scared to leave but wanting to escape

A scrub with unhealed trauma

Toxic and lying behavior; threatening to hit me

“Fuck your friends, fuck your family”

Insecure, childish, manipulative and controlling ways

I almost lost my life

 

Aniah Blanchard was only 19

I feared for my life—19 in college

Losing weight, stressed, compelled in sex

My teachers started to look like him

I thought life would ease up after leaving him—it only became more dangerous

 

Stalking on social media

Phone calls from social services about HIS health and wellbeing in danger

Threats to end his life and police reports on campus

Officers seemed to not know what to do

No protection off campus

Changed social handles and number

Intrusive flashbacks of his face, words, and actions

I could not even enjoy a shower

 

Survivor mode 24/7

Afraid I would end up on the back of a milk carton—MISSING

I should’ve left sooner

I blamed myself

I hate the male species with so much fear

I do not know who to trust

Turtle shell hardens

I was 19

Two months of eternal terror

I started therapy a year later

 

I’m 25 now, with better awareness and confidence; beauty and bright

The memories still haunt me, but they do not dim my light

He’s still the same person when I met him

Sad and true

I heard from my best friend that her friend dated him too

 

I look at these adolescents and yung’uns—staying with someone who treats them so bad

Making excuses for their hurtful words and insecurities

Then surprised when fists cause bruises and scars, leaving them sad

“Never settle” my great aunt once told me

Tried and True

Don’t ignore the alarms

It’s easy to misinterpret the red flags

Remember—I was only 19—and already harmed